Her: It was a really great trip. We got to take a long walk....uh...your eyes just bugged out of your head. Are you okay?
Me: Don'tsaythatWORD!
Her: What? Walk? WALK? What's wrong with wa-
(Cut to me tackling her and clapping both hands over her mouth)
Me: *hissing through my teeth* Oh, god! What have you done! We don't SAY that word around here. Maybe it's not too late...
It was too late.
Both dogs, who had been snoozing at our feet, suddenly snapped to attention and raced for the door in a tangle of galloping limbs and whining screams. Gryphon (the old dog) began to yodel like a wookie (I shit you not, he sounds exactly like one) and spin in circles, while Bruin (young dog) ran back and forth between the door and the couch in total hysterics, complete with eyes pointing in different directions.
There's nothing like the W-word to reduce my brindle boys into complete gibbering loonies. We do our best to avoid the word altogether, or to spell it if absolutely necessary. I'll catch myself asking people at school if they want to "you-know-what to the cafeteria", that's how ingrained NOT saying the W-word is to us!
We also don't say "park" unless we really reeeally mean it (ie. on our way out the door with our shoes and coats already on). We've learned that even talking about the dog park with the dogs on another floor is a recipe for disaster. They develop super sonic hearing and come thundering up the stairs in a frenzy. Deciding whether or not to go to the park must be done in code. Asking if one wants to go to "the DP" produced way too much immature giggling, so terms like "snog mark" and "clog spark" had to be invented.
Other things that cannot be said unless you're ready to follow through include:
Gotta go outside?
Cookie?
Do you have to peepee?
Failing to deliver on these comments leads to frantic running on the spot, whimpering, spinning in circles, and other canine hysterics.
For "dumb" animals, they (unfortunately) have a good handle on the English language!
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