The Magic of FerreTone

Trying to take a decent photo of a ferret is much akin to stapling water to a corkboard. Nigh on impossible!

I've seen photos like this...

 And this...

And even this (seriously?! Little sweaters?!)

And I HAVE to call shenanigans, or at the very least taxidermy! Real ferrets are FAR too busy being bad to hold still for even a nanosecond. It's like trying to say "hold still now" to an ADHD toddler on a pixie stick high...it just ain't happenin'.

There are exceptions, like if the ferret is passed out after a major mischief blitz

However, even in the deepest of slumbers, the ferret will sense you hovering by the cage, and the whirr of the camera's shutter will have them up and jittering around within moments.  Cherish that first sleeping picture; it's the only good one you're going to get.

 Yep. It's all downhill from here.

(This is why I drink)

Another way to subdue a ferret long enough to take a halfway passable photo is to overwhelm their already overstimulated senses by taking them outside.  The sensory overload of the great outdoors can momentarily stun a ferret and give you a split second for a photo opportunity. Sometimes. Often the resulting picture is merely an empty frame or a weasel-like blur doing a barrel roll. But sometimes you get lucky...

 (So THAT'S what you look like!)

(In this last picture, there was an RC car zooming by that froze him for roughly 1/8 of a second. Photographic gold!)

Besides sleep and sensory overload, there is one other trick up the ferret photographers sleeve that helps them to focus ferret attention.  I can guarantee that 90% of all good ferret photos are achieved with this method.

Behold.

The magic that is FerreTone.  This molasses-like syrup is the equivalent of crack to weasels everywhere.  If I had to cut Kirby's nails without a big dollop of that stuff to distract him, I would surely have cut off most of his toes long ago.  Nothing stops and focuses a wriggling weasel like this stuff. Even showing them the bottle can bring on an instant of stillness just long enough for a great capture.

Without FerreTone as an aid, these photos of Kirby wouldn't exist...

 

 

 (Okay, so the last two need credit from FerretTone AND the mad skills of photographer Serge Rivard. If you look closely at the last one, you can see FerreTone sludge on his chin)

While FerreTone is a lifesaver, it also makes for some funny outtakes...

I'd sign him up for rehab, but I wouldn't be able to get any more pictures :(

Carry on, my Wayward Son

Despite a myriad of faults (we call him B-ruin for a reason, as in: he's b-ruined our furniture, our lives, etc) Bruin is a pretty cool dog. I'll be the first to admit (after a couple of beers of course) that I don't give him enough credit. He went from a knock-kneed, screaming, piddling puppy to a long lanky adult who no longer makes water in his pants when you speak sharply. Okay, there is still screaming. No one is perfect.

 To begin with, Noons has a kick-ass spot on his chest that looks a little like a butterfly.

It looks great on that fab brindle background! 

Secondly, Bruin is ridiculously FAST. At the dog park, he isn't the obnoxious dog humper that Gryphon was; he's too busy galloping in circles like a demented race horse. Few dogs can catch him. To see him flying across a field is a marvelous sight.

Despite being a tall drink of water, Runes will fold himself up into the smallest possible chair and go to sleep. God help this dog if Nik and I get struck by lightening and he has to go to a home where he isn't allowed on the furniture. The floor is for lesser beasts like cats and drunken house guests. In the summer, you can see him out on the deck sitting in 'his' chair for hours, much to the amusement of the neighbors.

 Another cool thing is that he sleeps LIKE THIS...

 

I feel like I cannot document this enough. It is frigging adorable. He also woofs in his sleeps and curls his back toes. B'awww.

Runes has a whiny husky-like bark, but he doesn't use it often. I think our neighbors will like us a lot better now that they can walk past our windows without hearing "BAWAWAWAWAWAWWARRRRRRGGGGGRRRR#$%$%@!@#!@#WOOWOOWOOOOOOOO!" 

Gryphon was determined to guard us from passing old ladies and babies in strollers with his hellhound baying, but Bruney feels no need to raise an alarm.

He WILL cause a racket if treats are not forthcoming, however.

Bruin is a bit of a loner at the park, but he sure does love his marfs at home.  What is a marf, you ask? Well, when he was a puppy, Bruin didn't WOOF, he MARF'd.  In time, a 'marf' became any loved toy (Go fetch your marf!) or small animal Bruin took a fancy to.  He LOVES pocket pets. He was a proper mum to multiple foster kittens, foster guinea pigs, and foster hamsters.

 

(He was always very gentle, although I will admit that moments after the last picture was taken, he put the whole hamster in his mouth. Oooops)

But the BEST marf of all has proved to be his weasel, Kirby.  A marf that likes to wrestle is the best marf of all.

 Yep, Bruin is kind of a cool guy.  

His coolness counterbalances his baffling nervous energy and separation anxiety. It all makes most of the following forgivable...

 Oh, your favorite pillow? Sorry.

 

Good job stitching it up, Mom! I won't touch it again.

 

Just kidding, fuck you pillow!

 And you too, other pillow!

 (....seriously, dog?)

 Stripes make me upset!

 So do IKEA chairs!

Funnily enough, his destructive behavior is mysteriously curbed when he is wearing an e-collar (aka "Happy Hat"), as we happily discovered recently.  So now we can leave him loose while we go to work and school, although tales of a weird screaming lamp have been noted in our neighborhood.

Old Long, Tall and Ugly is enjoying being a single dog. While we miss our old boy terribly, we are so glad to have Bruin there to love.